SURROGACY QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

If you choose an agency without someone there to guide you, it is important to know that the agency has split loyalty, both you and the prospective intended parents, so they are not able to fully represent your interests. We advocate on your behalf to ensure that you receive the maximum benefits available and are fully supported throughout the entire process. Be Surrogacy changes the dynamic.

You are so special, and we know it! Our community of Be Surrogate mommas are the key to the whole surrogacy process. Without you, surrogacy does not happen. We know your value, and a referral from us creates a safe space where our vetted agencies are eager to work with you. – which ensures they give you the best they have to offer.

The best part – it doesn’t cost you anything.

Oftentimes, YES! This will depend on what you and the Intended Parents agreed on at your Match Meeting and in the contract. Our goal is to grow not only the Intended Parents family, but to also fuse your two families together whenever possible – this is such a beautiful journey, we hope you stay connected for life!

Once you have decided to be a surrogate, your records are reviewed, you are matching with an amazing Intended Parent(s) and you are medically and legally cleared, you will be placed on a regimen of hormone medications to assist in preparing your uterus for the embryo transfer and support the pregnancy in the early stages until your body takes over on its own.

Once your body and the embryos are ready, it is time for your embryo transfer. It is similar to a pap smear, a small catheter is inserted vaginally through the cervix and into the uterus where the embryos are to be placed- this is often guided by an ultrasound so you get to watch the entire process. Most Surrogates will be asked to either stay on  bed rest for  24 and 72 hours, or just take it easy for the first 24 following the embryo transfer. You’ll stay at a hotel for the night, then can return to your normal routine. About two week after the embryo transfer you will go info the first blood test to see if the transfer was successful. If the first result is positive, the IVF Clinic will repeat a blood test about  7 days later to ensure your beta-HcG level is rising appropriately, then a week after the second blood results are reviewed, you will have your first ultrasound to confirm the heart beat. That is SUCH a fun day! During the course of the next 8 or 10 weeks, you will be weaned from the hormonal medication, and at the end of the first trimester, you will be released back to your own obstetrician for regular prenatal care.

The first thing you need to know is that there is nothing that you [the Surrogate] did, didn’t do, or could have done differently to lead to a different result. Sometimes things just don’t work – that’s life sometimes. Most of the time, the exact cause for a failed transfer will remain a huge mystery. The success rates of second transfers are generally much higher than those of first-time transfers. Your doctor will work with you and your Intended Parent(s) to make the changes that are most likely to result in a positive pregnancy on your next cycle. Sometimes, in super rare cases, it may be suggested to try changing one or several variables after several failed transfers. These variables can include introducing the use of a donor egg, choosing to use a different egg donor, introduction (or change of) a sperm donor, or a new Surrogate. For your next steps, you will have to get a menstrual period and the clinic will check that your hormone levels have returned to a normal range, once they have you will receive an outlined cycle calendar and medication start plan.

Before COVID the IPs were usually at the embryo transfer, but with the current COVID-19 pandemic, most IVF clinics will only allow one support person to be with you at the embryo transfer, unfortunately, this cannot be someone from the agency and is usually your support person. This person must follow the clinic’s requirements with mask policy, vaccination status, etc.

Yes and no. It is important that you avoid any potentially hazardous food/drinks during pregnancy, such as raw meat/seafood and alcoholic beverages. Surrogates are also encouraged to maintain a generally healthy diet during pregnancy and try to avoid things like caffeine, excess sugar and a diet high in processed foods. The Intended Parents can make requests or suggestions if they have additional dietary concerns for you; however, this is usually done during the matching process, so you will have the chance to decide how comfortable you are with what is being asked of you, and renegotiate if possible. It will also be fully outlined in the legal contract for everyone to agree on.

No. If the Surrogate wants an epidural, that is  her choice. It’s important that you be as comfortable as possible during the delivery. If you have a strong preference for/against an epidural, we recommend sharing this preference with your agency at the start to ensure you are properly matched. Most Intended Parents are fine with Surrogates choosing to have a medicated delivery as you have delivered a baby before, and in the event that they do not want this, we can work to find them a Surrogate open to an unmedicated delivery. We will find the right couple for you!

Not at all.  Whether or not you will have a C-section is based on two factors—whether you have had a C-section in a previous delivery and whether there is a medical need/preference for a C-section as determined by your doctor. Surrogates who have had a C-section in the past should prepare for the surrogate pregnancy to deliver via C-section as well. Safety first!

This is something we encourage Surrogates and their Intended Parents to discuss during the matching process. For most Intended Parents, being in the delivery room for the arrival of their baby is a moment they truly don’t want to miss. We also want to make sure our Surrogates are comfortable and have the support they need during the delivery. For a typical vaginal birth, it is common to have both the Surrogate’s partner/support person and the Intended Parents in the room. However, if a C-section is required, most hospitals will only allow one person in the room during delivery. It’s a good idea to plan in the beginning for who would accompany you in the event of a C-section.

We find that most hospitals are super great with surrogacy births – they are so much more common now. In preparation for the birth, the Intended Parents are encouraged to schedule a hospital tour to familiarize themselves with the facility, the key players and how to get there and navigate the hospital experience. The agency will work with you on a birth plan with input from the Intended Parents. This will ensure the hospital staff knows there is an upcoming surrogate birth and allows them to plan accordingly. Ideally the Intended Parents want to be present at the birth and do their absolute best to be there; however, we must always remember that these sweet little babies have a mind of their own and sometimes arrive earlier than expected, so be prepared for anything, and we will be, too!

Surrogates are in no way required to agree to carry multiples. There is a minimal risk of the embryo splitting and this risk should be discussed with the agency so you can make the best decision for you and your family.

C-sections are not a problem, 2 or less is preferred but if you have had 3 then we will need a clearance letter from your OB. No more than 3 c-sections are allowed and no more than 5 prior deliveries.

NO, you do NOT need to be vaccinated for COVID. However, there are some vaccinations that required: Varicella (chickenpox immunity), TDAP, MMR (measles, mumps, rubella).

You need to be a U.S. Citizen, permanent resident, or have a green card/visa valid for the next 5 years.

You sure can! All we need to be sure of is that you have support for yourself and your kiddos should you need to attend a doctor appointment and when it comes time for the birth. We need to make sure YOU are taken care of should you need the help/support!

NEVER. We will complete an insurance review to see if your policy (if you have one) covers a surrogacy pregnancy and delivery; if a policy needs to be purchased for you for WHATEVER reason the agency/intended parents will ensure the premium payments are made. Regardless of if we use your own personal insurance policy or purchase a policy, all premiums, co-payments, coinsurance and deductibles as they relate to the pregnancy and IVF process are FULL covered by the agency/intended parents.

If you are required to travel to the intended parents IVF clinic, all expenses are paid including: flights, hotel, ground transportation, meal allowances, childcare for your kiddos, etc.

As part of the due diligence, to ensure the safety of all parties involved, this is a requirement to have anyone over the age of 18 living in your home to complete a background check. The Intended Parents also complete a background check. Our goal is to do all we can to make sure everyone feels safe and protected as we embark on such a monumental process.

No, and that is a common misconception! We have partnered with agencies all over the U.S. You will need to travel to the Intended Parents IVF Clinic a few times but MOST of the IVF care can be coordinated close to your home. Our goal will be to disrupt your life as LITTLE as possible, while also enhancing your life and someone else’s!!

Surrogates often give birth at a hospital local to them, and it is usually the hospital where they birthed their own children. We want you to be as comfortable as possible – child birth is a huge life experience.

Each agency has a different experience level, various different connections to WHY they chose this industry,  and they each have different goals in mind when they started their agency. They also all offer a wide variety of support for the surrogates. We have a long list agency we know about (and there are so many we have not had the chance to meet yet) – however, we have a small group of agency we have vetted, and we will only work with agencies who follow the protocols and processes we feel is in the best interest of YOU and the Intended Parents. We also work with agencies with different levels and styles of communication, our goal is to find out what would be best for you and match you with the agency who matches your energy!

The total base surrogate compensation is between $60,000-$90,000. I know that feels like a ton of money, however,  you should be compensated for your time, commitment, any/all risks and the disruption to your normal everyday mom-life. The amount is determined by various factors: location, age, pregnancy history, have you been a surrogate before, etc.

Family and friends are always our best support systems.  As moms, we know that it takes a village and that is even more true in surrogacy! Partners are often very hesitant at first.  They want to protect you and we LOVE that!  The best way to get your  partner on board is through education and time.  Allow them to learn about surrogacy with you, ask questions and connect with people who can relay their own experiences.  We are always happy to chat with partners about our own experiences.  We will gladly be part of your village

We’re sure you have seen the cute shirts “Their bun, my oven” :)  That saying exists because we do not use your egg or your partner’s sperm for embryo creation.  Even if the parent(s) need a donor, that would never be you.

Intended parents (IPs) choose surrogacy because of their strong desire to have a family, and they are unable to do so on their own for a variety of reasons.

Yes, you can be a gestational carrier. The Intended Parents will have created embryos already. So, one of those beautiful embryos will be implanted into your uterus, and there is no need to use your own eggs or fallopian tubes.

Our main goal will be to move things along as quickly and safely as possible. Most surrogates finish their surrogacy journey in about 18 months (from initial application to delivery), but we encourage you to prepare yourself for up to two years, as sometimes there can be delays of various sorts and we want you to have a very realistic expectation as to how long it can take.

Most likely. All Surrogates complete medical screening at the fertility clinic the intended parents are working with. All costs associated with the trip are covered by the agency/Intended Parents. In addition to your surrogacy screening, you will need to travel for each embryo transfer. And don’t worry, you will be allowed to have a companion travel with you (partner, spouse, best friend, your mom) this is at no cost to you, we want to ensure you have support- remember that village we talked about!

By seeing if you qualify to become a surrogate, you’re already helping someone’s dreams of a family come to life. Intended parents who are looking for a surrogate are couples and individuals who cannot have a baby on their own without your help- this makes the process so much more rewarding and fulfilling.

In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate has no genetic relationship to the baby (or babies) she carries – science is way cool! This means that we do not use your eggs or your partner’s sperm to create embryos for parents. I am sure you have heard the phrase “their bun, my oven”. You are essentially the “oven” baking the “pizza” – what an adorable pizza!

When you apply to become a surrogate, you’re empowering intended parents from all over the world of diverse sexual orientations, ethnicities, and backgrounds to build their families through surrogacy. WOW – how amazing of an opportunity!

There are various types of intended parents who want to build their family through surrogacy:

• An intended mother who is unable to carry a child
• An single intended father
• Same-sex intended parents
• Intended parents who have a health condition that would make a pregnancy dangerous
• Heterosexual couples who have struggled to carry a healthy pregnancy.

Like we said before, these amazing couples have been down a LONG road to get to the point where they will [hopefully] meet YOU… we want this relationship, process and experience to be the most beautiful it can be!

Absolutely – yes yes yes! Surrogates have preference in choosing the in-network OB-GYN they see for their surrogacy pregnancy. It is also often the OB you used when you had your own babies. However, Intended Parents have the right to seek a second opinion if needed, but they tend to rely on their Surrogate to recommend a doctor they feel most comfortable with.

By verifying income, this assures the Intended Parent(s) that their Surrogate is financially stable and pursuing the journey for more than financial reasons. We get it – the financial reasons are a HUGE perk, but your desire to grow another person’s family is ever BIGGER! For you, the compensation you receive via surrogacy could affect your ability to receive any sort of government assistance, and we do not want to jeopardize that for you.

The agency and escrow company will not issue a W-2 or 1099. Surrogates are not seen as employees or independent contractors. We always recommend that you have your surrogacy agreement with your Intended Parent(s) reviewed by a local tax profession for the most accurate advice.

Yes, you will need to fully wein and have two full flow menstrual cycles before you can be medically screened by the IVF center.

No, if you do not have an insurance plan or your current policy doesn’t cover surrogacy, one can be purchased for you during open enrollment. *Note this can affect your level of compensation as this would be an added expense to the Intended Parents.

Short answer, Yes!  Initially most Match Meetings are facilitated through a video call. However, you will eventually meet your Intended Parents at either the embryo transfer or an ultrasound visit.

In order to allow you to start connecting with Intended Parent(s) your prior pregnancy, delivery and PAP smear records are reviewed by the fertility doctor. Once your records have been reviewed and approved the agency will work to officially match you with a couple whose profile will have been shared with you. From the time you complete the application and in-take process with the agency it can take 6-12 weeks to be matched.

Our goal is to prepare our amazing surrogates with the perfect match based on the expectations they have for this process. The agency will have open discussions with both parties and ask an abundance of questions to understand what’s most important to you and suggest matching possibilities to the agency accordingly. Here are some things to consider:

• Location of your Intended Parents (international vs domestic)
• Level of communication (are you a talker or just want to provide updates as needed)
• Your position on termination or selective reduction.
• Are you open to breastfeeding?
• Are you covid vaccinated
• Are you open to providing breast milk for the baby once they are born?